Hello Mike, Whats new? Not much here. Brandon is scheduled for his last treatment on Feb.5. So far they say things look good. I finally have time to sit down and write. Please feel free to edit any of this which you feel necessary. I'm pretty long winded by nature.

Brandon's story began the day he was born. He was beautiful from his first minute of life. My little boy. My godson. I never knew that I was capable of so much love. Beginning on that day, my life was different, now everything meant something. I've always known that family was important, but I usually sacrificied that for more important things at the time (most of the time it was a job) However ever since Brandon came into my life, nothing is more important. All of that has been reinforced since we found out about the Retinoblastoma. I am now willing to give up everything to be there for him and I have.

For all intensive purposes, Brandon was a normal, healthy, happy baby. Even if he had a cold or when he started teething- he was always smiling. He is the kind of child everyone wants to be around, full of laughs. I love him very much, so much sometimes it hurts. (a lot!)

I remember the day that Jenn, Brandon' mother, called me on the phone. I was at work(my usual spot) when the phone rang. My boss answered the phone and tried to take a message because we were busy, but unfortunatly it was an emergency. He gave me the phone without hesitation. Immediatly my heart sank. I knew it was Jenn and I knew she was calling about Brandon. At that point all I knew was that Brandon was going to see a specialist at Mass General in Boston. His pediatrician had diagnosed him with gluacoma. So he recomended a specialist because gluacoma runs in the family. We were led to believe that it was not a serious condition. None of us knew that gluacoma was the leading sign for RB. Brandon's pedaitrician had no clue. Which makes me very angry and I know that I will be critisized for saying so. However the pediatrician only diagnosed Brandon's condition after our persistant questioning. Up to this point he kept telling Jenn that it was "lazy" eye and it would be correctable at an older age if it did not correct itself. Anyways if I had even one thought that his condition was going to be serious, I would have skipped work and been with them in Boston. When I answered the phone, Jenn was histerical on the other line. The only thing she said to me was, "Brandon has cancer, they have to remove his eye to stop the spreading and save his life." I almost dropped the phone on the floor. I was so upset I could not hear any of the details. After that moment I just existed for the next five days. Then it was on to Boston for his surgery.

I now have no idea how my parnets survived my childhood. I was in and out of the hospital for the first two years of my life. At least now I have a greater respect for the over all strength of my mother. Anyways, we went into Boston' Eye and Ear Imfirmiry at 7 am.. He was scheduled for 11 am.. So for the first few hours I was fine, because Brandon was still with us. It was only after they took him away that I lost it. I say 'lost it' but all I really did was fall asleep. I could not keep my eyes open. Jenn woke me up for lunch, which I did not want, but she made me eat. I feel like I was the only one there, very alone, very lost. (and I was the one who was supposed to be giving the support- not getting it) Then we waited I just sat with my head phones on listening to music, not talking to anyone. When they said Brandon was out of surgery I was so happy I couldn't sit still. They brought him back to the room, he looked remarkably normal to me. I actually did not care what he looked like, as long as he was fine. I picked him up after his parents did, anfd I sat and held him and cried. I could not stop crying (which was not unusual for me because I had already been crying for a week, so it was normal for me to make every else cry with me) I think I held on to him for about 45 min.. We actually got to take him home that night. After that ordeal we had to deal with the glass eye. And that fact that Brandon was facing at least five weeks of radiation. But the human race is equipped to deal, better than most of us think. As much as we don't want to believe it- life goes on, and so far it has for us and for Brandon. We have all dealt quite well with every thing. Brandon still plays with everything he did before and still makes everyone love him- just like before. The only thing now that I have a problem with is, every time I pick him up I have to force myself to but him down. I know that I wont be able to hold him forever, but, for now I can and I do. I will always love Brandon no matter what, I hope some day he will be able to read this and I hope that he will love me just as much back.

Just a quick note. Yes, both Jenn and Allen know that Brandon will be on the internet, and they do not mind. They have not seen your web pages because we have all been too busy, as usual. I did tell them all about it.

I was also wondering if you had received any correspondence from anyone else up in the Massachusettes area. I would really like to find some children Brandons age that he could associate with. Let me know if you do.

Lori

Sends some Email to. Lori